Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
