my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
