He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
