We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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