Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
