im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
