ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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