jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
