Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
