Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
