I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
