I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
