I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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