I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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