return my video game
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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