His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
