they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
