dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
