in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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