i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
People in love make me want to vomit
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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