dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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