Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
