The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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