Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
