ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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