Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
