The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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