New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
