id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
