Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
