Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
