I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
