Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
