I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
