I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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