if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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