My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
