alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
