I heard we made out
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we made out on top of his cat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
