Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
