i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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