I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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