he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
