I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
third nipple confirmed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
