you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
