There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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