ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
