Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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