what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
