My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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