Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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